dream

selamat pagi minggu yang cerah ~


still in the bed after i woke up, feeling paralysed thinking and wondering about last night dream bcs it's been so long i didn't really got that 'kind of dream'.
he was in it.
h.

- dream -

just like last year, i went to malang by myself again. according to my dream, to catched up h that was apparently there. h was with my friend, and when accidentally met in a mall i sok sok kaget ketemu temen i that it was such a coincidence but not talking to h and got that third-person-camera thing that we was intensely staring at me. hhahahah
next scene
i went upstairs of the mall and finding myself volunteering for panti jompo kind of thing and surprisingly and luckily my dream self, h was taking a shift on the front desk there. so we had much time of talking, joking around, laughing together as we already 'clicked' to each other and there was a time i pointed something on the paper he suddenly put his hand on mine like signaling that he had the same feeling towards and i was just being a rock there pretend that there was nothing wrong happen but inside i was shaking, so hard that my dunya self could feel it i opened my eyes a lil bit and directly went to sleep again didn't wanna miss a thing.
you're so cruel dream.


-back to reality-


yes i never met him before, was being asked to go watch a movie but i didn't want to go bcs at that time (and still tho) i don't feel like meeting any other new guys im just tired. but after it cancelled, out of nowhere i wanted to meet him so bad. my bad.
"aren't you scared to meet him?"
no, found out that he was my brother's friend.
i feel like i knew him already in fact no at all. that's why i wanted to get to know more. but can't.
he just seems not interested. so after few chat back then nothing really happen.
im not saying that im too easy with new guy, there been few before him but they were all just terasa hambar, like so-so but we kinda get different situation here.
i know i know he's not into me, this is just a one sided thing.
but aren't we all fall for the person we can't have ?
it's been awhile after that feeling and now it's comeback thanks to dream. the fact that this is just a stupid feeling i hope that it'll disappear soon.





p.s
i truly do wanted to get along with you

sorry

jangan angkuh
jangan tinggi hati
jangan selalu mudah kesal terhadap sesuatu yg kurang disenangi
jangan menyepelekan sesuatu
jangan memarahi
jangan mudah emosi
apalagi kepada abah


tahu kah mama dan abah selalu mengalah dan merendah
hanya supaya km tidak mood swing ?


belajar memaklumi
belajar memahami
belajar merasakan
belajar sabar
belajar mendengarkan
belajar menikmati hal kecil


rajin beribadah



meskipun saya juga
tapi mari kita jangan dan belajar



untuk sulung,
yang tidak mungkin saya utarakan
karena apa lah saya ini
hanya bungsu bodoh yang lebih rendah



dari saya,
yang kadang teriris hatinya