Re-cover

It's happening again

they left me

it was when junior high
it was now

it's the same

a new girl
always
the more attractive one
there will always be

I guess myself unattractive enough
wasn't good enough
so boring
too boyish
wasn't really like a cute girl
annoying ?

I guess myself will never be good enough for anybody

they always leave

for something better

while im still here
with a heart full of loving
they left

how long,
did I took to get over the old ones ?
years.

and now
it's gotta start over again
for the latest one

would it be able to recover sooner ?
would it be healed ?
would it be able to trust again ?
would I ever be with someone and not wondering wether they true to me or just the same ?

men, why ?

Thankyou.

Mom,
thankyou for always being there at my lowest point even you have no idea why and what happened.
Thankyou for the patience you bring to us since we were on your stomach until now.
Sorry that I've been sad all this time that I couldn't help your work much.
Maybe you don't know this but sorry for being often crying in the middle of the night since we shared the same bed.
I don't wanna tell my sorrows not because i hide it, I just don't want you to think bad, worry, and overthink it. It just stupid thing that i had to deal with.
I feel pity when I see you being so tired working things out for us.
In your age now you should've having fun with your friends, going to places, and enjoying the life but instead you still here because we still burden you.
Thankyou for understanding my choices and accepting it while others always underestimate it.
Thankyou for always caring and supporting me in whatever condition.
Sorry I haven't make you proud, even I get into the major that none would be proud of I know.
I hope you always do well (healthy, fine, and happy)
I never straight saying this to you, but you know I always love you.

It's not you that should be thanked for having us, but we are.
Alhamdullilah, terimakasih ya Allah you have sent mama to us, nothing better😢😊😇😇.